The reason I maintain this blog, largely, is to prove myself. In my resume, I list one of my occupations as a freelance writer, and sometimes, I feel that’s untrue. I’ve done a few paid projects here and there sporadically, and worked pro bono for a few years, sometimes consistently, but I’m not actively taking on projects. Part of that may be the fault of my dignity and uneasiness with the “gig economy” or social platforms. Years ago, I’d applied for some projects on Fiverr and Freelancer.com, but never got any attention there. Even if I could attract attention on the content mills like those, I might not want it. Folks look to pay meager wages there, and the only people that want to take that kind of work are third-worlders or, people who I alluded to earlier, those who have no dignity.

I, of course, want a full-time job. And in the meantime, I try to freelance, but I don’t have any streamlined strategy to find work. I mainly send queries and pitches, or enter contests. Sometimes editors have these freelancer rosters, where you pass your contact info to them via some form, including links to samples, and indicate what subjects you are interested in writing about. I fill those out sometimes. But “auctioning” myself for a job doesn’t seem right to me. I’m not going to devalue my services just because I want work. Unemployment checks are adequate here and often I’d rather just take them then subject myself to tomfoolery.

Maybe another aspect to my problem is it’s hard to balance out looking for full-time work and project work. Ideally, I want full-time, but sometimes I feel like I have to cycle back to going to project work because of my lack of experience in some areas. For instance, I’d love to write copy. And I’d know how to do it. Growing up, I’d pour over the catalogues from Sears, Lands’ End, L.L. Bean, Sharper Image, Oriental Trading, Toys R Us, Circuit City, Best Buy, HearthSong, among others. The copy on ecommerce brands isn’t as human-centered as it is in paper catalogues. It’s mostly stuffed with keyphrases instead of anything meaningful, and I’d love to fix that. I know how I’d do it, but because I haven’t done it before I’m often passed up on offers. Thus, the way to get experience in copywriting could lie in a freelance contract.

Anyway, I want to make an impact more than anything. I want to leave a trail of beautiful prose and verse whenever someone plugs my name into a search engine. Hopefully that will happen one day, if I, and others, allow myself the opportunity.