Hello everyone. I’m often unsure what to post here, but sometimes simple diary entries can reinvigorate creative muscles. Anyway, I am job searching again, and I’d forgotten how arduous it is. In addition to regular roles, I sometimes look for calls to pitch, writing contests, or freelance opportunities. Sometimes these calls are vague, which is frustrating. Maybe they are vague because I am out of practice. I can’t really synthesize an idea when an editor just wants a pitch about “feminism” or something. There’s so many angles I could take. You’re often encouraged to look at a publication’s back log of work to craft a better approach, but some just have such bountiful back log, and every publication morphs over time, so often it’s hard to pinpoint an angle.

I guess since losing my job I’ve been going through a lot of languishing. I lack direction sometimes, and I often question my own ideas. It was easier when I’d be assigned essays so I couldn’t back out of them. I’d need a grade, or just crave a presence among these established collectives in extracurricular writing. I pray I can achieve the fortitude to follow through more. I was very blessed to have a contract job for the last ten months, and while it ended prematurely, I’m still very grateful to have been there and leave in the good graces of my superiors and colleagues, with their support to assist me in my continued career.

I see myself a lot in the characters of the game Stardew Valley, a very popular independent game which I’d begun playing in 2018. For the unaware, it’s primarily a farming simulation with social focus towards its non-playable characters. Many of these characters face setbacks in their creative ambitions. Sebastian is a computer programmer, his sister Maru is a nurse whose aspiration is inventing, Emily is a barmaid whose aspiration is fashion, her sister Haley is a photographer, Sam is a janitor whose aspiration is music, Leah is an artist with an ex-girlfriend who holds her back, Penny is a teacher who must create lesson plans with limited resources, and then there’s Elliott.

Elliott is a novelist. He lives by the beach in a small cabin. He mentions how neighbors in his hometown discouraged his dream. Pride and notoriety from his work are his motivations, wealth less so. He’s content living in a former bait and tackle shed he rents from the local fisherman, Willy. Penny and Elliott seem to have ambitions that most mirror mine, and thus, I’ve married them in separate game files. Lately though, I seem to prefer Elliott. I like to educate in my work, I’ve been a tutor like Penny, but sometimes the school year, children’s ages, or simple resources can be limiting. In your mind’s eye of the literary world, the utilities are boundless.

I guess I’m trying to let some of these characters’ stories inspire me. Especially Elliott’s book launch party, held in the same library where Penny conducts her lessons. He has the player pick the genre of book he will write, and dedicates it to you. His success is moderate, but he’s flattered nonetheless. I need to be more like that, grateful for the small wins.