Category: Musings

Domain update and contact info

Hi readers, you may have noticed since my last post, my blog’s URL has updated. It’s now been shortened to sheiladebonis.com, though sheiladebonis.wordpress.com will navigate you to the same site. I’m just trying this out for now, and I’m unsure if I plan to renew the custom domain for next year. It’s a little daunting the amount of features WordPress has.

Also, with the purchase of my new domain, I also have an email address attached to this blog, sheila@sheiladebonis.com. Last time I tried sending an email from that address, I had some sort of setup delay, probably due to it being newly created, but it may be usable now if you’d like to send me anything. Additionally, I have sheiladebonis@proton.me. Both of these will act as ways to get in touch. I’ll be experimenting with both to see which server I prefer (Proton has the edge as of now, simply because I could begin sending email instantly). These addresses are for followers, the public, and some journalistic pursuits.

It’s pertinent new media personalities have some internet-enabled way to get in touch with fans, but I’m wary of the big social media juggernauts because while they can be decent communication tools, they are isolating, a time-suck, and leave many feeling inadequate about looks, relationships, or jobs. I’d used a few in the past (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, WhatsApp, Snapchat) but they are more trouble than they are worth for me. Please do not bother contacting me in any of those aforementioned places. My accounts are either deleted, privated, or abandoned. Email seems to be the only messaging system I’m still comfortable with. Maybe one day I’ll share my other messaging credentials with my followers (Signal, Telegram, or Discord) but email is simplest now,

Anyway, that’s it. Talk soon,

So many unethical opportunities

As I’ve mentioned before, I have my pride. I am agreeable, but less so nowadays. I am fatigued at employers offering volunteer work or piteously low rates. With age, I’ve learned to be less patient and make more demands.

There is one editorial industry which does often pay handsomely, but I have my pride and my morals to make me refuse this. It’s essay ghostwriting. Yes, I’ve assisted my siblings, friends, and classmates sometimes with their compositions, but never have I completed an assignment entirely on their behalf, their name next to my words. Perhaps if the platforms that offered these services regulated the practice a little more (i.e. the ideas, theses, analysis and research *must* be that of the student’s, and the writer can synthesize them) I may consider. But the way it is now is just a helter-skelter black market.

I’m not going to name these platforms, but you may already know of them. If you search the writing/editing job board on Craigslist from time to time, you’ll see them. Some even try to give an empathetic angle, that people write these essays for new English learners, people with low to no literacy, people with learning disabilities, etc. That’s no excuse. As someone who grew up with a learning disability it’s fine to have a crutch but to have a proxy complete your evaluations for you is insane.

I do really love the tone and flavor of academic writing, and I’d like to continue it, though indeed, don’t have much opportunity for it now as I’m currently unconnected to a school as a student or faculty. But this is not the way to reemerge in the genre.

Proving myself

The reason I maintain this blog, largely, is to prove myself. In my resume, I list one of my occupations as a freelance writer, and sometimes, I feel that’s untrue. I’ve done a few paid projects here and there sporadically, and worked pro bono for a few years, sometimes consistently, but I’m not actively taking on projects. Part of that may be the fault of my dignity and uneasiness with the “gig economy” or social platforms. Years ago, I’d applied for some projects on Fiverr and Freelancer.com, but never got any attention there. Even if I could attract attention on the content mills like those, I might not want it. Folks look to pay meager wages there, and the only people that want to take that kind of work are third-worlders or, people who I alluded to earlier, those who have no dignity.

I, of course, want a full-time job. And in the meantime, I try to freelance, but I don’t have any streamlined strategy to find work. I mainly send queries and pitches, or enter contests. Sometimes editors have these freelancer rosters, where you pass your contact info to them via some form, including links to samples, and indicate what subjects you are interested in writing about. I fill those out sometimes. But “auctioning” myself for a job doesn’t seem right to me. I’m not going to devalue my services just because I want work. Unemployment checks are adequate here and often I’d rather just take them then subject myself to tomfoolery.

Maybe another aspect to my problem is it’s hard to balance out looking for full-time work and project work. Ideally, I want full-time, but sometimes I feel like I have to cycle back to going to project work because of my lack of experience in some areas. For instance, I’d love to write copy. And I’d know how to do it. Growing up, I’d pour over the catalogues from Sears, Lands’ End, L.L. Bean, Sharper Image, Oriental Trading, Toys R Us, Circuit City, Best Buy, HearthSong, among others. The copy on ecommerce brands isn’t as human-centered as it is in paper catalogues. It’s mostly stuffed with keyphrases instead of anything meaningful, and I’d love to fix that. I know how I’d do it, but because I haven’t done it before I’m often passed up on offers. Thus, the way to get experience in copywriting could lie in a freelance contract.

Anyway, I want to make an impact more than anything. I want to leave a trail of beautiful prose and verse whenever someone plugs my name into a search engine. Hopefully that will happen one day, if I, and others, allow myself the opportunity.

Civic duty

This week, I had my first jury duty summons. It was…underwhelming. I kept thinking there was something amiss. You see, after arriving at 8:30am our first day, the judge dismissed us around 10:30am. There were two cases on the docket that day. The first had reached a settlement, and the second had a defendant who waived his jury trial. With a docket of two cases, and a pool of around thirty potential jurors, I was almost certain most of us would be picked. But I guess jurisprudence can change at the last moment.

It feels like when I’d complete a test within a fraction of the allotted time in school. Was the test duplex-printed and I didn’t look at the other side? Did I skip something? Was there some other component I hadn’t heard about? It was just astonishing. I’d been told two months in advance of my summons. I’d pushed off appointments and plans until this week’s conclusion because I was unsure of the duration of my service. I was prepared to be interviewed and analyze things. Truth be told, I thought it would be good practice for job interviews and maybe a chance to network, but I digress.

Anyway, the way my state law is, I won’t have to do this for another three years, if that. I was nervous, but those nerves were in vain. I hope I can make a judicial difference…one day.

Back to fiction

As a new adult, I opted to transition into nonfiction writing because I saw it as more commonplace and utilitarian. I was pretty confident the world could find a place for me there. And I am there, sometimes.

But often nowadays, it’s hard to break into the 24/7 news cycle, coupled with so called pundits pontificating their own commentary and opinions. There are often too many aspects to a story to consider. I am not at the frontlines of the Roe v. Wade overturning, nor the Russian invasion of Ukraine, nor Shinzo Abe’s assassination. I don’t often have a lived experience or connection to events like these. I do feel terrible about them, but to make a statement or write an article about such events sometimes feels like preaching to the choir to me. Sometimes there’s a wealth of disaster to dissect. I cannot often pinpoint the one which aggravates me the most. I cannot always suggest solutions.

Fiction is full of allegories and allusions. Public figures, personal acquaintances, and even other fictional characters can come together in fiction. It can propose new ideas and solutions. It’s both escapism and realism, albeit in another plane. For some reason, fiction is where I’ve been getting more ideas lately. Maybe I’m hanging out with Elliott in Stardew Valley too much (although I couldn’t write a novel-length feature like he could; I’m going to start with stuff at a few thousand words before I get to the hundred-thousands).

Maybe it’s the summertime idleness that’s getting to me, but I often can’t talk about life without making a comparison to something that happened to SpongeBob, or what Fran Fine did once, or the way Hamlet manipulated someone, or how Phoebe Buffay got tricked, or how Arthur Read had this great idea…I know, I have a strange combination of fiction that resonates with me in my mundane world.

Point is, nowadays I really see the place fiction has.

Sometimes I do better than I think I do.

I had an interview a few weeks ago, which I felt went okay until it was time for me to ask questions. They were all about certain privileges of the job, and I got pretty much the same answer for all of them: the privilege would not be available due to the nature of the role being temporary. I felt my questions left a bad impression. I felt one may presume I am haughty or entitled in my concerns over telework, union units, or benefits packages. Of course, I never meant to imply those things are paramount to my employment. I’d worked for this company as a temporary contractor through a staffing firm, and I’d just wondered if there would be any difference between that and working as a temporary employee directly through the company, as this role was.

Anyway, I got an email back today. While I didn’t get the job, I did get feedback that I gave the most detailed responses and answered everything in full. I am so glad I still left a positive impression despite my embarrassment. As someone with NVLD it’s hard for me sometimes to meta-cognitively read how people read me, and I’m so happy when folks directly tell me their thoughts in a gentle way.

Why have children?

Okay, job searching isn’t all bad, and I guess I have some experiences that are attractive to prospective employers. Interview or test requests trickle in, not always popping out at once. Life is worthy, even though I am often enamored with ones outside my concrete one.

In Stardew Valley, I caught a mutant carp, which is a legendary fish that can only be caught once. I will put it in a fish tank soon, once I’ve made room for it. A couple of days ago, I gave birth to a son, Orwell. I named him such because his father, Elliott, seems to be an Orwell fan. If the player tells Elliott their favorite genre is science fiction earlier in the game,his debut novel will be Rise of the Planet Yazzo, which gave me Orwellian vibes (only excerpts of the book are in the game when he reads it at the launch party). I’m actually not too familiar with Orwell, but the fact that the name also means “the branch of the river” and Elliott happens to be a nautical devotee also clinched it for me. Orwell’s older sister is Elowyn, after a character in a play I wrote in college (and it also happens to have the same first syllable as her dad’s; there’s some etymology significance too but I took the class a while ago).

As much as I love the game, having children in Stardew is rather dull. They walk or crawl around and look at you. Your spouse will sometimes say they are pregnant, or that you are pregnant, or the adoption paperwork was filled out if you are a same-sex couple, but nothing else changes. I’d thought my character was just a couple pixels bigger when I was pregnant, but I’m probably wrong or it’s too subtle to really make a difference. Well, one thing that’s nice in the latest update of the game is that your children can now attend town festivals once they can walk. They still don’t have dialogue, interests, or actions, but hey, now Leah the sculptor and Gus the bartender know we have kids instead of having them be cooped up in the farmhouse all year long…with only the dog and livestock as babysitters..

Back to the grind

Hello everyone. I’m often unsure what to post here, but sometimes simple diary entries can reinvigorate creative muscles. Anyway, I am job searching again, and I’d forgotten how arduous it is. In addition to regular roles, I sometimes look for calls to pitch, writing contests, or freelance opportunities. Sometimes these calls are vague, which is frustrating. Maybe they are vague because I am out of practice. I can’t really synthesize an idea when an editor just wants a pitch about “feminism” or something. There’s so many angles I could take. You’re often encouraged to look at a publication’s back log of work to craft a better approach, but some just have such bountiful back log, and every publication morphs over time, so often it’s hard to pinpoint an angle.

I guess since losing my job I’ve been going through a lot of languishing. I lack direction sometimes, and I often question my own ideas. It was easier when I’d be assigned essays so I couldn’t back out of them. I’d need a grade, or just crave a presence among these established collectives in extracurricular writing. I pray I can achieve the fortitude to follow through more. I was very blessed to have a contract job for the last ten months, and while it ended prematurely, I’m still very grateful to have been there and leave in the good graces of my superiors and colleagues, with their support to assist me in my continued career.

I see myself a lot in the characters of the game Stardew Valley, a very popular independent game which I’d begun playing in 2018. For the unaware, it’s primarily a farming simulation with social focus towards its non-playable characters. Many of these characters face setbacks in their creative ambitions. Sebastian is a computer programmer, his sister Maru is a nurse whose aspiration is inventing, Emily is a barmaid whose aspiration is fashion, her sister Haley is a photographer, Sam is a janitor whose aspiration is music, Leah is an artist with an ex-girlfriend who holds her back, Penny is a teacher who must create lesson plans with limited resources, and then there’s Elliott.

Elliott is a novelist. He lives by the beach in a small cabin. He mentions how neighbors in his hometown discouraged his dream. Pride and notoriety from his work are his motivations, wealth less so. He’s content living in a former bait and tackle shed he rents from the local fisherman, Willy. Penny and Elliott seem to have ambitions that most mirror mine, and thus, I’ve married them in separate game files. Lately though, I seem to prefer Elliott. I like to educate in my work, I’ve been a tutor like Penny, but sometimes the school year, children’s ages, or simple resources can be limiting. In your mind’s eye of the literary world, the utilities are boundless.

I guess I’m trying to let some of these characters’ stories inspire me. Especially Elliott’s book launch party, held in the same library where Penny conducts her lessons. He has the player pick the genre of book he will write, and dedicates it to you. His success is moderate, but he’s flattered nonetheless. I need to be more like that, grateful for the small wins.

The responsibility of editors as public health validators

Many know me as a writer. However, most of my work is voluntary or academic. As such, I seek to broaden my professionalism through email newsletters, who often alert me of calls to pitch, contests, fellowships, or grants.

One of my subscriptions is to Freedom with Writing. I enjoy this letter and have gotten a lot of inspiration and use of it. However, there was a very troubling curation in a recent blog post, seen here: https://www.freedomwithwriting.com/freedom/uncategorized/30-calls-for-pitches-directly-from-editors-4/

My problem lies deep into the post, in this entry:

CafeMom is a website for mothers and mothers-to-be. Their managing editor has tweeted, “Look for a writer who is pro-vaccine in general, but is hesitant or flat-out not getting their kid the Covid shot, to do an essay for CafeMom. It is small, 500 words-ish or under, $75 op-ed essay.” If interested, email lauren.gordon@wildskymedia.com. Read their managing editor’s Tweet here and contact them here.

Yes, this editor *wants* to read stories about parents who refuse to vaccinate their own children. Granted, there may be very slim occasions where children truly cannot be vaccinated, but those are incredibly rare. While I’m not a parent, my stand is still valid. Children are a part of my society and they do not exist in a vacuum. Additionally, I’m an older sister, former tutor and former contact tracer. Thus, I’m still very concerned for the health of people who are still in their formative years.

I’m disappointed in Freedom with Writing in that they would enable writers who espouse such ridiculous views to share and disseminate misleading narratives like the one Ms. Gordon proposes. I do thank Freedom with Writing, however, for sharing CafeMom’s contact page, to which I made an editorial complaint:

I am very perturbed that one of your editors is soliciting essays which enable parents to make poor decisions for their children.  I’m referring to Lauren Gordon, who tweeted this: https://twitter.com/laurengordon88/status/1458091714212777996. Children are people, not possessions. I believe in the protection of people. While there may be very slim cases where a child cannot get the Covid vaccination, multiple trials have seen that the vaccination is safe for the vast majority. Please stop stoking unneeded fear into parents’ hearts.  As a former contact tracer, I’ve seen too many situations where a child’s infection creates more infection, not to mention poverty, confusion, and hunger. The virus has mutated and pediatric infections are no longer vastly mild. Additionally, many underlying conditions are at its most severe in the pediatric stages, such as asthma and diabetes, and their interference makes vaccinations even more important. If you are faithful as I am, please see this to know the equivalency of what’s at stake: https://www.commonwealmagazine.org/persuading-anti-vaxxers I sincerely persuade you to reevaluate Ms. Gordon’s role at CafeMom and Wild Sky Media, and consider what factors led such a ridiculous prompt to be greenlit by her superiors.

To my fellow freelance writers, please never forgo your morals to get published.

News media: please stop telling people to start Christmas shopping now.

We don’t need the reminder. Who cares about the supply chain backlog? We can make do with what *does* arrive, as faithful, moral people ought to do.

During the final quarter of the year last year, the narrative was support local businesses. While I recognize even local businesses are having supply chain issues, maybe consider finding retailers that are even more local. Wood, metals, plastics, foods, and all materials made within a 100-mile radius of your residence. Sold from a warehouse or storefront around the same.

The big brands are not necessarily the best brands. Nor are big brands who pretend to be small to fake authenticity. Big box stores and department stores, I curse you for issuing Black Friday previews now. Market demand is good, but not when your workforce is a skeleton crew of the mealiest variety. Especially when you represent a brand that used to stand for the common people. People who stand for practicality and quality. You’ve inherited an intense brand loyalty that cannot be sated because you’ve put your own storefronts up for sale and will make bank whether the retailer lives or dies. You are both the jury and executioner.

Circulating new goods just forebodes more climate disaster. Just thrift or hand-me-down.

In all, please stop harnessing a sense of urgency in something so small as materials. Climate, disease, and labor ethics…That’s what’s urgent.