Fleeting Swarms

Part of the Isolation Journals. Day 38. Prompt by Hedi Jaouad. https://bit.ly/3bplJu8

Dreaming amid the Covid-19 pandemic has been often. The dreams are too weird. I remember getting emotional and quizzical, but soon after I wake I can’t form any narrative of what happened and why. What’s been more memorable, however, are my lucid or paralysis dreams. I’m not entirely sure how to categorize them.

These dreams happen in my own bedroom, and pretty much exactly how it is currently. This bedroom used to be the master bedroom, but we got an addition on the house, so my parents moved into the new bedroom, my sister and I moved into their previous one, my brother moved into our previous one, and my brother’s previous room has become a strange menagerie of clutter. Some of my sister’s clothing, perfumes, and plushies, an old rocking chair, our dog’s crate… My sister had expressed interest in moving out of our shared room and into that one, but has not fully materialized yet.

But anyway, these dreams are always in my current area. I am not in my previous bedroom ever, the mess in my laundry basket, on my bureaus, among the bed coverings are always the same as usual, aside from a few augmented visions.

It’s also often in the early morning these happen. I’ve usually turned my radio clock’s alarm off by this time and gone slowly drifting back to sleep. I like to listen to the music, discussion, and news of my program, even if I don’t have to worry about any commute or preparing. Is that strange? Maybe the talk on the radio weaves into my dreams, who knows.

I was lying in my bed, and my dog, Maggie, the Jack Russell Terrier, greeted me. She started running around the bed, covering most spots around me. Oh, I suppose I should share her picture too.

Maggie in her sunny spot.

Anyway, the reason she is running is to chase something. I hadn’t realized what it was, but soon, I see its shape, and peak in between the sheet and comforter. It’s a MOUSE, scurrying all across the bed! I start yelling amid my sleep, encouraging Maggie to work on catching that thing. Even though my bedclothes were unwashed for a couple of weeks, I feared mouse droppings or other debris, like its corpse, may bring even more filth.

Eventually, I get so excited I wake myself up. When awake, I see no lumps in between the covers. I don’t even see Maggie. Somehow, that feeling of things running around the bed, utilizing every spot on the mattress my body didn’t occupy, was an illusion.

Later on, I see a connection to my augmented experience to what’s occurring inside my necklace. I’d worn my amber pendant that sleep. I got it for this past Halloween as a substitute for a costume. On this occasion, I decided to do a more traditional, generic autumnal and spooky look, complete with lots of orange and black. Amber was a perfect gemstone due to their orange tint and their spookiness, as it often contains bug carcasses suspended within the stone. I’ve shown a closeup of both myself wearing it and the sales photograph from the listing.

As you can see, there’s a swarm of action within it, much like the situation that unfolded in my delusion. What could these flies and wasps been doing while they were entrapped in that smooth, fluid nectar? Mating, chasing prey, or just commuting? A multitude of vignettes could have been happening, much like a Renaissance portrait. Yet, we’ll never know what would have happened if the nectar hadn’t hardened and solidified them together. Much like how in my quasi-dream, my conscious awakened before I could see the events unfold in the great chase. I’m not sure about the bugs, but if my dream had continued, Maggie definitely would have caught the mouse.

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